i found this song in my head yesterday

"When was the last time
I held you all through the night
Never a worry would run through my heart like a knife
tomorrow is much too late...

I need you now be my light
tomorrow is much too late
I need you now..."

^i love saves the day. their lyrics blow me away sometimes, but i think you only understand how gorgeous they are if you can hear the song in your head when you read the words...



i um, this is probably awkward to talk about, but a few days ago zara quoted me on her live journal… something I wrote a long time ago, I believe in reference to sean
"it turns out i'm really naive about boys, and i have to realize that you cant shove your whole heart into the hands of a fumbling, unsure boy because when they drop it, it shatters"

the reason I bring this up, is because first of all it meant a lot to me that zulara remembered it from so long ago and it meant enough to her to quote it, that it sprang to her mind when she needed it… god. My heart was so broken. You know what I mean. And yet, it’s interesting to look back on it, because the fact that broken hearts can heal makes me believe in everything, most of all love and god and the air outside my window right now, (it’s heavy right now with dusk and I LOVE the smell of it).

**At my uncle’s (Jewish funeral,) they pinned torn pieces of cloth onto my aunt (the widow) and her step-son’s clothing. The rabbi told us that a long time ago, when people would die, their family would tear a piece of their clothing to show that they were in mourning. In a year’s time, they would sew it back together, but leave a little bit unsewn and maybe a bit messy, to show that they would never be completely healed/ sewn up from their loss.
I think that’s such a great idea. We’ll never be completely healed… but at some point, the pain will be more of a memory than a feeling, I think

Love.